Day Thirty and Thirty-One: 30 and 31 January 2015

Well Hey there readers!

It the last day in January of 2015! This month has brought a lot of challenges to me. I have been trying to blog everyday sometimes it ends up being every other day but I’ve gotten used to it by now. This month has also brought me a lot of heartache as I continue to get over being broken up with by the man I thought was the love of my life. I’ve also lost a total of 10 pounds this month as well as gotten back on my depression medication. On top of all of that school started back up and that brings its own challenges along with it. Overall this past month has been a whirlwind and I'm hoping February will be a little easier. Now let me get to talking about my days like I usually do. Yesterday was Friday and it was great I didn’t have to worry about homework or tests. It was relaxing; I ended up cooking dinner for my roommates because I love to cook. I made pork schnitzel with egg noodles and it was delicious, but I didn’t get to finish mine because my stomach did not agree with it at all. After dinner I did the dishes, like I always do and cleaned up around the apartment. Once all of that was done I watched a few episodes of Supernatural before it was time for me to go home. My roommate and I are carpooling home every weekend and this time it was her turn to drive. We made it home in plenty of time and I was able to watch a little TV with my mom before I went to bed. Overall a fairly easy day. Today I woke up earlier than I would’ve like but it happens to me all the time. I got up and went through my usual routine of doing my hair and makeup before going downstairs and watching more Supernatural before my guy friend came over. We hung out for a few hours catching up because we haven’t seen in each other in over a year.  We played Mario Kart and watched the Interview and were complete jerks to each other like we used to be and it felt just like old times. It was nice to have a little fun for once; I hope I can start to have fun again. It was hard to hang out with a guy because the entire time all I could think about was my Ex and how I wished I was hanging out and watching movies with him instead. Once my friend left I got really depressed because I couldn’t stop thinking about my ex and how much I miss him. I watched a few episodes of Supernatural to help me perk back up but it can only help so much. Every time I think I am getting better and forgetting about how much I love him, something happens to bring me right back to square one. It’s awful and I wish he was still here so I could just talk to him, I miss being able to tell him anything even if it was something stupid he would still listen to me. I can just picture him rolling his eyes at me for talking to him about girly things as I often did. Maybe someday a long time from now I will be able to move on and be happy with someone else.

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh

Day Twenty-Nine: 29 January 2015

Hello you wonderful people,

So today had the potential to be a great day but it went in the complete opposite direction! I woke up and did my normal routine and I got dressed up for my presentation that I had to give this morning. I was looking really cute with my curled hair and my mint green top with a chunky necklace to add some more color. Then I went through all my classes like normal, and when I gave my presentation I did great and I was able to keep it in the time limit my professor had set for us. Then I went to lunch and ate my usual salad, and then I headed off to work. When I was work I changed into a pair of jeans because I did not want to wear my dress pants any longer and I put on my brown boots. I looked adorable. I was smiling and laughing with my friends and having a pretty good time. Then once I left work to go to my doctor’s appointment the day took a turn for the worse. It took me forever to get to my appointment I barely showed up on time for it, and once I was taken into a room I was handed a depression questionnaire and I had to rate myself on a scale of 0-3, 0 being never and 3 being every day, based on certain situations and characteristics. I answered 3 to all of them but one of them which I gave a 1. It made me realize how depressed I really am, and how bad it has gotten from the last time I was seen for my depression. Then when the doctor came to talk to me she went over all the precautions about getting on medication and how she thought that it would be best for me to be on them since I had been on them previously. I agreed and she called me in a prescription for my new medication which is the same one I have previously taken. I thanked her and I left after making my follow up appointment for three months from now. I made my way to my house to grab something for dinner since it was close to 6pm and I was waiting for my prescription to be filled but I was determined to leave by 6:30. So I talked to my mom for a few minutes, ate some dinner, and washed my hair. Right at 6:30 I got back in my car and drove towards school even though my medication wasn’t ready yet, I decided I will just get it tomorrow when I go home for the weekend. Then as I'm crossing the James River Bridge on my way to school, we come to a complete stop and we stayed at a complete stop for an hour and a half. There apparently was a really bad accident that was blocking both lanes. Needless to say I started panicking. I still hadn’t typed up the outline of the first 9 chapters of my book and it was due to be submitted by 11:59 pm and not a minute later. I had a complete mental breakdown in the car which included hysterical crying and hyperventilating. I didn’t know what I was going to do if I didn’t get my outline submitted in time, and I couldn’t fathom the thought of receiving a zero for the grade. Thankfully we started moving around 8:20pm and I made it back to school by 9:30 and I worked my butt off to make sure I got my outline done in time and I have now submitted it to my teacher and I can just take a deep breath and relax. It was an awful evening and I hope I never have to experience anything like that again! I’m exhausted now after this long and trying day, so I'm going to pass out in my bed very shortly!

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh

Day Twenty-Seven and Twenty-Eight: 27 and 28 January 2015

Hello Everyone!

Yesterday wasn’t a normal Tuesday for me; I woke up way too early and had to go to class except this time it was snowing outside… I hate snow and I always have. I hate anything that’s cold and wet and comes from the sky to be honest. So it was an omen for how the day was going to be. It was freezing cold and I was covered in snow trying to get to my classes. Thankfully by the time I got to work around 1pm the snow had stopped and it was just cold instead of wet and cold. Before I clocked in at work I called my doctor and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon for me to get back on my depression medication. I have been battling with myself over this decision over the last few weeks and I have decided that it’s the right thing to do for me. I can feel myself slipping into my depression and I don’t want to be that girl again. I wish I was strong enough to do it on my own but nothing I do can distract me long enough to stay happy. After work was over I came back to my apartment and watched more supernatural with my best friend before doing all of my homework and being productive. I got my work done so early that I was able to have cleaned the entire apartment and taken a shower by 7:30. Around 9pm she and I sat down to watch the new episode of Supernatural which had me so confused since I hadn’t seen the previous seasons but I watched it with her anyway. Then at 10 we watched My Big Fat Fabulous Life, this is now our Tuesday ritual. We went to bed early and for some reason I just couldn’t stay asleep which brings me to today. I woke up 6 times before my alarm went off between 5:40 and 7:45. It was awful I have been exhausted all day but I've had so much to do. I've had to make a presentation for tomorrow, figure out what I'm going to wear for the presentation, and begin reading a book for one of classes. The book I’m reading is written by Colin Powell and it’s actually a really good book and I'm glad I picked it. I have to have an outline of the first 9 chapters submitted tomorrow by 11:59pm. In the short amount of time I've been reading this book I've gotten through 4 chapters and I'm partially through chapter 5 so doing that shouldn’t be too difficult. I just have to stay on task tomorrow and hope nothing major happens. Thankfully it’s almost Friday so I can go home and relax after this week.

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh 

Day Twenty-Six: 26 January 2015

Hello Everyone,

So today I my school got locked down because of a gunman that was running around the town my college is located in, so I didn’t have my first class of the day because we weren’t allowed outside of our dorms. I used that time to catch up on some homework so that I would be able to go to sleep a normal time tonight. However during the day while I was in class I messaged an old friend on Facebook and he and I got to talking and I’m going to go see him this weekend at William and Mary where he goes to school. It should be fun, were gonna hang out and talk crap to each other and play Mario Kart on the Wii just like old times. I haven’t talked since I started dating my ex-boyfriend last year. So he and I have a lot to catch up on, he was my buy best friend for years, and I'm excited to have him back in my life. That and my roommates agree that it will be good for me to get out and have fun, I haven’t been doing much of that since the break up and this will be the first weekend that I go out and drink and have a good time with someone who isn’t family. We’ve been talking all day catching up about different things that have happened over the last year, and it makes me super excited for this weekend. I don’t have much else to say so I’m gonna go to be now!

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh

Day Twenty-Five: 25 January 2015

Hello everyone,

Today was another uneventful day for me, I spent all morning and most of the afternoon watching the rest if season one of Supernatural and I have to say that I’m obsessed with this show! Sam and Dean have me wrapped around their beautiful fingers, and I can’t help but think about when I’m going to be able to watch the next episode. Netflix is my best friend right now because I will be using that a lot over the next few weeks as I try and watch 10 seasons of this show. My obsession has gotten so bad that I have even threatened to shoot my roommate with rock salt. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this show sooner! Other than watching Supernatural I made my way back to school with two of my roommates today and ever since I got back I have been doing homework for my technology classes and all I've wanted to do was shoot myself with rock salt because this homework is awful. The questions were dumb and I had no idea what I was talking about even after I read the chapters several times and looked things up online. Now I am sitting here in the living room of my apartment listening to my best friends little sister in her sorority talk about movies and ask questions about things she should know, and when she asked about how many continents there are I just about smacked the crap out of her. It’s such a shame that there are people out there who don’t know such easy facts. So I'm sitting here listening to her talk and drinking a glass of wine because that is the only way I can get through having a conversation with her. The struggle is real for this week. Cheers to ending the week with wine, bring it on Monday!

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh

Day Twenty-Three and Twenty-Four: 23 and 24 January 2015

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was better than the average Friday, my first class of the day was cancelled because my teacher is sick so I didn’t have class until 1pm. It was so nice to sleep in and not have to worry about waking up in time to make it to class. I got up around 10am and took my time getting ready and packing my bag for coming home this weekend. I went to lunch with my best friend and we complained about people in our lives the entire time, it was great. She is literally the best and I’m going to go crazy when she graduates in May! Then after that I went to class and drove home and ever since I got home yesterday, I have been watching the TV show Supernatural because my best friend told me about it and made me watch the first episode with her and now I'm hooked and I can’t help but watch it. I have watched 16 episodes since then and I'm almost done with the first season. There are 10 seasons of this show and I have a lot of catching up to do, but I'm up for the challenge. When she got me hooked on this show I got her hooked on Gossip Girl, so she and I have a lot of Netflix to watch and not a lot of time to do it in. All I did today was watch Supernatural and clean out the desk in my room which my mom has been bugging me about since last weekend. There is still a lot more stuff to do but I got through at least half of it. I had a pretty boring lazy day like I do on most Saturdays which is always welcomed after the weeks I have. Emotionally speaking I don’t know exactly how I feel, my best friend told me I’m content because I’m not happy but I'm not sad either. I’m somewhere in the middle and its confusing. I think I have finally accepted what happened and that is allowing me to move on and learn from everything. We shall see how I feel tomorrow; my emotions are all over the place so Lord only knows where they will end up. If things don’t get better this week then I’m going to call the doctor and go back on my medication, I need the extra help to stay positive and make it through the day without having some major mood changes.

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh  

Day Twenty-Two: 22 January 2015

Hello Everyone!

Let me start by saying I apologize in advance for the ranting I’m about to be doing, it’s been a rough day and I just need to vent. First of all, I need all the fake people to just go somewhere else. I’m so tired of having to deal with people who act certain ways to impress certain people it doesn’t make you cute, it makes you pathetic. Second all the hypocrites in the world can disappear too. If you are constantly contradicting yourself through words and actions you look like a fool and no one takes you serious. That and I can’t stand people who are lazy and flake on their responsibilities for dumb reasons. There have been so many people today that have just rubbed me the wrong way and its put me in an awful mood. Another thing that has pushed me over the edge today are people that ask you to do things for them and when you agree they completely exclude you from things but include other people who have nothing to do with the situation in the first place. I’m ready to call it quits and let someone else deal with them and their problems because I have a lot of better things I could do than waste my time waiting around for you and your people to acknowledge my presence. You only talk to me when you need something and that’s not okay with me anymore, I have too much on my plate to be dealing either that. People aare just so inconsiderate all the time and only think of themselves and its getting ridiculous, grow up people and get over yourselves! We are in college, stop acting like were in middle school again (no offense to middle schoolers out there). We are supposed to be mature adults and its time they start acting that way. Graduation gets closer and closer every minute and its coming whether you're ready or not. I know I’m prepared but as for some of my classmates I’m not so sure! I’ve just had the worst day and I’m sorry for the ranting but it needed to happen before I exploded! Thankfully I will be heading home tomorrow to spend some time with my mom and get away from this place because I am so tired of being here and being around the people on this campus! Graduation can’t come fast enough, I need to get away from all of this and start a new life. I don’t mean to offend anyone, this rant just pertains to the people I have to interact with on a regular basis at my university.

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh