Day Four: 4 January 2015

Hello Everyone, 

Another uneventful day at my house, I’ve been in an awful mood all day. I had this weird dream last night and when I woke up this morning I couldn’t decide if I liked the dream or not. I’m not going to take the time to go into the boring details of what happened but I ended up having my ex-boyfriend’s baby and in my dream she was beautiful. But this morning when I got up and the images were still fresh in my head I was a little disappointed that I didn’t have that part of him still with me but at the same time I was relieved because there is no way I’m even remotely ready to have a baby. But the dream itself has been haunting me all day and it’s just contributing to my bad mood. And the one person I want to talk about it with doesn’t speak to me anymore. I don’t even think he remembers I exist, especially since it was so easy for him to let me go. I know that I need to get over it but as my best friend has been telling me a lot recently that it doesn’t happen overnight. I wish it did it would make life a heck of a lot easier if I could just move on from the heartbreak and be happy. I read something on tumblr the other day and it’s stuck with me, it’s not who you miss at 2am when you're lonely but it’s who you miss at 2pm when you're busy. I know that feeling all too well unfortunately, and this is where I leave y’all. 

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh