Hello Everyone!
I hope you all are having a good week so far, I know mine
started off really rough and it seems to be getting better as the week goes on.
You know what they say once you have hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go but
up. Yesterday was a pretty uneventful day; I went to class and had to wake up
way too early. Then after class I went to work for a few hours then I spent a
few hours doing homework and I was done with my work around 7:30 which gave me a
lot of free time. So much free time that I ended up cooking a full out dinner
for my roommates. I made grilled lemon herb chicken breast, creamy chicken
rice, and sweet corn as a vegetable. Then after dinner I did the dishes and
settled my butt on the couch to watch TV with one of my roommates for a few
hours and that is exactly what we did. We watched a new show on TLC called My
Big Fat Fabulous Life for an hour before my roommate said we had to watch her
favorite show called Supernatural. I changed the channel and for an hour all I did
was get really confused and asked a lot of questions because I had no idea what
was going on. She told me I just need to watch the show and I think she’s right
it looked awesome from the episode I saw. Then after that was done my fourth
roommate brought some random guy over that we had no clue was coming to the
apartment. He isn’t bad looking but he sure was loud and obnoxious! He seemed
like a nice guy so we all just let it go, but they were so loud watching movies
and talking that when it came time for me to go to bed I couldn’t sleep so I walked
across the kitchen and slept in my best friend’s room. Today went pretty much
the same except I didn’t have to wake up as early. I went to all three of my
classes, then went to work, I ate pizza for dinner, but I wouldn’t call it
eating, I more like inhaled it I was so hungry. Then after that I came back to
my dorm and did my homework like a good student and drank more coffee than was
necessary before one of my friends came over and he had to rant about his
problems so I just sat there and nodded my head like the good friend I am. So
now I am wide awake because I drank way too much coffee and I have to be up in
like 4.5 hours… tomorrow is going to be a struggle! Overall though I have been
doing fairly well emotionally speaking, I haven’t cried in the past two days so
I would say I’m making progress. I’m still sad all the time but I have to keep
reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and that I will be okay
eventually. It’s still hard to get out of bed in the morning and put a smile on
my face and act like everything is okay when I feel dead inside most of the
time but I know that I need to power through this. I have been really
contemplating getting back on my medication I think I need the extra help especially
at a time like this in my life. I guess the reason I haven’t called the doctor
yet is because if I do get back on them it means that I failed at being happy
on my own and it proves that I’m not strong enough to do it either. I don’t know
it’s just getting harder and harder every day, so I think it’s time that I do
something about this. I hope y’all have a great day or night depending on when
you read this!
Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh
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