Hello Everyone,
Yesterday I started my second semester of my junior year of
college and it was fairly okay, I woke up way too early and had three classes
in a row starting at 8am, then when I was done with classes at 12:15 I went to
lunch and then I went to work from 1-3pm. Fairly easy day, then later that
evening my roommates boyfriend came over to stay the night and he brought his
beautiful pit bull named Snoop to visit as well and she is an amazing dog, I love
her. I ended up going to bed super early because I was exhausted from waking up
so early. Then this morning I woke up a little later since my first class wasn’t
until 10am, and I had 3 classes today as well, and after all of these classes
the last one getting out at 3:15 I had to work at 4pm until 6pm then I went to
Applebee’s with my gay best friend and my roommate and her boyfriend. It wasn’t
until I was at the restaurant that I realized how bad of an idea it was for me
to be there. That very Applebee’s is where my ex-boyfriend took me for our
first date and I was having tons of flashbacks and I ended up crying at the
table because it was all too much, I even got yelled at by my friends to stop
talking about him. But I couldn’t help it he was and still is a huge part of my
life and everything reminds me of him. Once we left the restaurant and came
back to our dorm I watched a little TV before deciding to do my homework which I
didn’t think would take me that long to do. I was 100% wrong about that, it
took my 2 hours to do one assignment and I had 2 assignments to do. I just
finished both assignments around midnight when I started them around 9pm. While
doing my homework I got really overwhelmed and I felt suffocated and all I wanted
to do was call him and have him tell me that everything was going to be alright
and that I was strong and I could do this and that he loved me more than anything.
Then I realized that I will never get that from him again and that caused me to
start crying my eyes out while trying to do my homework. It’s getting harder
and harder every day to carry on without him. Yesterday I had to explain to 6
people that he had broken up with me and it hurt when one of those people told
me that my relationship was her relationship goal and that he and I were
perfect together. I wanted to walk out of the room and just crawl into a corner
and never come out. He told me I would be okay without him but he was wrong I will
never be okay without him. Needless to say my semester is off to a rough start.
Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh
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