Well hey there lovely people of the internet,
I hope y’all are doing well, and that you’ve had a good week!
Thank God tomorrow is Friday because I know I sure need a good weekend to relax
and forget about everything that has happened this week. Let’s recap shall we?
First Monday I had a test that I felt unprepared for, then Tuesday was awful because
I was sick all day and got text messages from my ex-boyfriends mother, Wednesday
I still didn’t feel well but forced myself to go to class, then there is today
where everything was going great until I got a message from an old friend asking
me if I wanted to be his friend with benefits. I’m just hoping tomorrow will be
better because I sure need a good day.
Yesterday was a hard day to get through because I was
confused all day about the text messages I had received the night before. I still
don’t know what to think about them. They have put so many thoughts into my
head and there is no escape. I thought I was moving on and was finally going to
be able to free myself of my past and look forward to my future. And now all of
the progress I've made has been shattered. I was doing so well, I wasn’t
thinking about him all the time and I was happy for the first time since he
left. Now I think about him constantly, I dream of him every night and I even
have daydreams about him. I can’t focus on anything because he is always on my
mind. All of these daydreams are bad for my mental health, they are either
happy memories or scenarios that I wish would happen. Even while I was doing
homework I listened to the playlist of all of the love songs we sang to each
other. I have even looked at that playlist since he broke up with me it was
just too painful and now I'm listening to it all the time. I just don’t know
what to do.
Today was no exception to this, I thought of him constantly.
I woke up this morning crying because the dream I had wasn’t real. How can I move
past this when every time I feel like I've moved forward something comes along
and sets me right back to where I am now. I just wish I could talk to him and
figure all of this out. I have so many questions that I wish he would answer. I
wish I could tell him that I still love him despite what he has done. Other
than think of him all day I finished season 4 of Supernatural and my mind is
blown I can’t believe everything that happened. I don’t want to say any details
because it might spoil it for someone who hasn’t seen it yet. Let’s just say
that it was crazy! I can’t wait to start season 5 tomorrow!
I’m sorry for all of the talk about my ex-boyfriend I just
needed to vent before I exploded. I still might explode but at least this helps
ease the tension! I hope y’all have a fantastic Friday! I promise to go back to
beauty blogging tomorrow!
Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh
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