hello everyone,
I’m sorry in advanced for any of you who don’t like hearing
about depression, and about not posting yesterday it was probably one of the
worst days and I figured that today would be better but it wasn’t I felt lower
than dirt last night after I was informed of a conversation on Facebook to
which I can only assume is about me. And now after a phone call from my mother
telling me that the conversation continued some today I was launched into a
deep depression and I feel awful. I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake
up for a while. I swore to myself I would never feel this depressed again but
here I am… wanting to disappear, and I have no one to talk too. I’m all alone
in my apartment and the one person I want to talk to is my ex-boyfriend and he
and I aren’t necessarily on speaking terms right now. I don’t even know if he
ever wants to speak to me again. Here’s a little back story into my life I was
diagnosed with severe clinical depression when I was 16 and I started going to
counseling and taking medication for it and it helped it really helped but when
I met my ex he told me I’m too much of an amazing person to need to be on
medication like that so I stopped taking them and I felt great. I wasn’t
depressed anymore and I really felt like I was cured so to speak. Now here I am
a year later crying my eyes out in my room wanting nothing more than to go away
forever so I can stop feeling the pain of losing him. I thought he was my
forever and now he’s gone and I don’t know what to do. I want to be strong and
to move on but how can I when he was my happiness. With him gone I feel empty
inside and I don’t know if I will ever be okay again, I told him this would
happen to me and he told me he was never going anywhere so I didn’t need to
worry about it. I have no will to go one right now, and somehow I have to find
the strength to continue on with my life and get through school. In don’t know
what to do anymore. Once again I’m sorry for all the depressing stuff but I just
needed to get it off my chest before I did something stupid.
Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh
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