Day Sixteen and Seventeen: 16 and 17 January 2015

Hello Everyone!

It seems that blogging every day is a bit of a struggle when you’re in college and you have to focus on school 98% of the time, so i apologize for two day posts. I got to come home yesterday so I’ve been able to sleep in my own bed again. My best friend drove me and one of my roommates home and it was a fun ride, we were dancing and singing and being obnoxious like 21 year olds should. I made some big steps last night when it comes to me emotions. After looking at instagram from a few minutes I realized how my ex-boyfriend dominated my profile, and in a moment of strength I deleted every picture of he and I on all of my social medias and after I was done I felt good. I took a small step to moving on and now I'm at the point where I don’t know how to feel. One minute I’m angry and the next I'm sad but those moods are becoming less frequent now that I’m back in school and I have a lot to worry about as far as assignments go. Then today I went shopping with my mom and got 6 new shirts, 2 camis, and a pair of frilly socks. I haven’t gone shopping in so long it was nice to do it and have fun with my mom at the same time. Then my niece came over to stay the night and we baked cupcakes and watched movies before we forced her to go to bed. Today was a good day, I barely thought about him at all. I really think that I am starting to move on and get on with my life. I’ve realized over the last few days that the hurt I felt will never be undone but I can move past it and create new memories and be happier than I ever was. I’m 21 years old I have my whole life ahead of me, being broken up with was not the end of my life it was a new beginning. I was a person before him and I'm still a person now. I read a post on tumblr the other day and it was about being broken up with and in the end the author wrote if he couldn’t love me the first time how could he love me the second? I will post a screenshot of the post because it really is sticking with me and I believe it more than anything. Because it is so true, it’s so hard for people to change and if by some miracle he and I got back together I would be forever second guessing everything. I would always be worrying if he was lying to me or not, and if he couldn’t love me the first time why should I think he could do it the second?

Thanks for reading xoxo Lashleigh